Fear Factor – Behind Closed Doors

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Published on: September 21, 2014

Fear Factor – Behind Closed Doors

Hello my invisible other…the nights are drawing in my dear…I’m extending my silence in the company of more time…my mind feels claustrophobic…I need space…I chose cyber for the simple reason being…you never know there could be somebody out there…if not I have the freedom to be myself…Fear Factor – Behind Closed Doors

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funhouse

breaking down brick by brick any wall that’s been built to block my own point of view from seeing beyond the horizon…when you find yourself within a labyrinth…the only way to escape…find yourself a sledge hammer then walk straight down the middle…

labyrinth-wallpaper-1-1024x768 If you leave one door open for too long…the exit becomes a distant forgetfulness…the labyrinth loses your entrance…no way out but a dead end…unless of course you never feared being alone inside your own mind my dear…after all monsters are all in your head…are they not…

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fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

I feel it’s time to wrap this space up…up the anti so to speak…door number one is coming to a close…before I vacate this storage space there are a few light hearted memories left to coincide…the beginning of the soul’s adventure on planet earth will play a substantial part where the ego is concerned…

4282158821_871638b628 traits…habits…belief’s…opinions…ideas of others including your own will shape and fashion your alter ego…ambitions of becoming a part of something or someone bigger…characterizing your personality to behave a certain way…whether it be to please or become like another human being all together

tumblr_mf4ucz0bzy1rkuidwo1_500 to remain solely an individual is a human trial in itself…if you’re not careful somewhere along the way the soul will lose itself…making a way out of a sticky situation seem impossible…creating pathways that entrench the mind and bog down the soul…

brain_hemispheres a network of tunnels are carved deep within the crevices of the mind…one way narrow roads that make turning around and going back the way you came into this world a difficult feat…a pattern of events that will leave you without a leg to stand on…unless you walk straight down the middle…unafraid of the devil that lays in wait on your path to freedom

tumblr_m56fwmugSo1qlq9poo1_500 why settle for a crawl space of tunnel vision constantly digging new trenches looking for the light that leads to the next exit…how will you ever know the right or wrong direction…for myself personally I placed my own feet inside the footsteps left behind by the devil…trying on for size the path of my ancestry…

Bull-blinders-nose-ring those who followed blindly left behind a blinder for future generations to follow…every once in a while the devil made himself known…upon seeing the pretentious threat…I was left with a choice…bow down and kiss the ground my evil companion walked upon…crawl on all fours…roll over and play dead…

blinder

fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

the only way my play mate could retrieve the upper hand over my soul…place fear in the four chambers of my heart…restricting my breathing space every time the devil pulled on my reigns…offering a false sense of security…a promise to remove the unpleasentries of the immediate world…

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surrender my will and give up the struggle to figure out what the hell’s going on…making head nor tail of my fate…submit and conform just like a good girl…the devil would make all the evil in the world disappear placing my soul on the top shelf…

Pink_Floyd_The_Wall_01 comatose would become the state of my heart fooled into believing comfortably numb is a comfort zone…any resistance on my hearts part would lead to a life shrouded by trials and heart ache…the devil my invisible other is cruel…

devil-rocker-animation-jjhhyh offering lullaby’s to sleep through the eye of the storm draining any remnants of light from the life and soul of the party you chose to comply with…life becomes one big knees up hidden under the wing of the devil…for possession to take place allowing the dark side to rule your world…there are four extremities…

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fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

fear plays a major role…indulgence in any one or more of the deadly sins…obsession…the last entry point…willing cooperation with your dark half…allowing the shadowy counterfeit to take up residence in the corner of your mind…a master mind that enslaves the heart making it weak until a spiritual death rules out any escape root…

pink-floyd-time-machine behave yourself according to the alter ego now in control…your life will fly by…my mind was wired differently no matter how much I wanted to fit in and be a part of normality…my heart sensed a need to take the lead…otherwise my own ego would become unruly taking the protection of the devil as a means to overthrow my soul…

42c18d35a8edd59bf0e606923b754ada_large the only way my heart could defend off the dark forces was to keep all four doors closed…battling the extremities head on…showing my own soul the lengths it was prepared to withstand…

Piracy_Freedom_Wallpaper_eo6mk producing a strength that weaken the devils resolve…showing my own ego whose boss in the hope my soul recognises the dangers of evil intent forcing my own shadow to contend…

giphy

fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

head towards the light as my right hand man or indeed remain in the dark becoming the devils plaything…shadows of doubt along with the unseen needed true exposure to reveal the epiphany of the unknown…only then peace of mind would breathe easy…

cover-deafer-dumber-blinder life as a sapling I chose to face any obstacle as a challenge to be overcome…if I made a mistake I would fall at the first hurdle damaging my chances of finding my way out of the maze…the memories left behind safe and sound in my brains vault contain one matter making fear a common factor…

Pirate Nxt Door Cov don’t get me wrong my imaginary friend throughout my childhood I had good times…happy occasions more than sad…the memories of good and bad times were not stored and filed as a visionary reminder…they were placed deep within my heart as a form of love or pain…

xx-end the only memories left are ones where the devil is hidden in the detail…as far as I can see…fear shaped the early days of my stay on planet earth…more so than happiness or misery…fear is a double edged sword…it can divide and rule your world…or it can become your stepping stone to victory…

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fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

Fear contains four reactions…frozen stiff…flight…fight…thrill…depending upon the kind of heart beating in your chest…reading between the lines could be a matter of life or death…other times the adrenaline rush overwhelms the senses turning a scary experience into the ride of a lifetime…

Planet-Fly-Earth-out-space-cosmos-animation-world-sphere-338838383urfhfhhf turning fear into there is nothing to be afraid of if only you knew…we all take chances…some more than others…are you a scaredy cat or a dare devil…

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funhouse

The sun was on the verge of setting…before tea time beckoned my call…the end of the day was fast approaching…all the kids in the neighbour gathered together in one peculiar house down the street…sitting on the floor with their legs crossed waiting patiently for the entertainment to begin…until Peggy sued entered the room

giphy (2) I was amongst the crowd as a first time spectator…although we weren’t at a funfair the anticipation of excitement and fear turned the house into a chilling atmosphere…the owner of the house of horrors was a neighbourhood friend of our mother’s…everybody knew everybody… b20886e62e2debedd2f569cfd59b3953 the women in question had a son…a bully in my eyes but that didn’t interfere with why I and the rest of the onlookers were here…it was he’s mother we came to see…a short plump woman who had a wooden leg…I don’t know why she had a missing a limb…what I do know she sat herself down on a chair in front of her audience looking overjoyed at the turn out of kiddie winks…

despicable-me-2-purple-minion-screenshot eager to watch her performance…she lifted up her skirt with a grin watching the faces in front of her squirm…she unbuckled the wooden leg removing the artificial limb resting it against the wall…

Peg_Leg half a thigh remained stationary on the seat of her chair…the stump looked red raw…it looked like the wooden facilitator was giving her some stick…fiction had caused no end of blister’s…water and blood as far as I could see…

20100329_StumpBlister some of the kids covered their eyes…others turned away their faces…sounds of gross misconduct brought about by their own grim idea of having a fun time fell from the onlookers mouths…disgusting was up for discussion…

young-kids_0 Peggy sue piped up asking anyone of us…”who wants to do the honours”…holding a sewing needle in the air…everyone voiced their disapproval…not one of the kids from my block had the courage to take stock…instead they cringed trying to hide behind each other’s backs pushing their friends forward…

littlegirlcamera I remained silent and just watched…Peggy sue pierced her skin by way of demonstration…popping her enormous blisters for all to see…by this time those sitting in the front row scrambled to their feet trying to run for cover as the contents of the blister was being squeezed…

Keep-Calm-meme-Zombie-Blood-Spatter-splatter squirting bodily fluid lovingly around the room…personally I could see Peggy Sue’s thrill…the kids reaction was the same way…you would watch a horror film…my fellow play mates were scared and compelled at the same time…

scared kids

fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

keeping their eyes on the next blister to burst…only to look away just before the needle penetrated the over gorged stump…laughing with delight Peggy Sue squealed one more to go…”oh dear this one pesky blister is hard to reach I’m going to need a little help from my friends”…

200_s (1) kids charging around the room trying to escape the needle offered to them as friendly gesture…the reality was my dear the moment I understood the reason why my childhood peers gathered in the fun house…

200_s (2) I raised my hand in the air in response to taking control of the needle…me me…Peggy Sue encouraged my act of bravery…sit down boys and girls Natasha wants a go…placing her two thumbs either side of the blister waiting for me to assist her…I pierced the bulging sore like I was popping a water balloon…

water-balloon10standing back to watch the commotion…laughing to myself under my breath…being the odd one out was not something my ego was shy about…the weird looks I received from the rest of the crowd were intentional by all means…a pleasure that fed my ego at the same time

99e4aa6f8abe9db3a0a152cc35c5af54 my heart took the golden opportunity to burst the bubble of any potential enemy…stepping up in the face of adversity before the happening…you see my invisible other any scenario where fear is expressed in public…

pinsandneedles your vulnerabilities can then be harnessed…what seems like a harmless bit of fun will be taken into account where the devils concerned…if the heart rides out the thrill wanting another go…the fear disappears…showing my own and any other ego present in the room…there’s nothing to be afraid of…I’m in control

iUoUskIGBcr05 defying the devils rules of engagement…placing panic in my adversaries heart…needles…wooden legs…could no longer be used as a futurist weapon to contain my soul…

fear-of-needles

fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

the devil would have to find a new avenue if wanted to truly shackle my mind…a little pin prick…the dentist chair…no matter what physical pain came my way…I learnt to be brave…my heart played along with my ego because the reality was my invisible other…no one was about to get hurt this time…calling the devils bluff…

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Peggy Sue made an announcement before the party came to a close…in a few days time her son will be turning six…we were all invited to a birthday party with a twist… Upon arriving back at the venue all the kids already present where full of excitement…

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laughter echoed around the house as the kids chased each other from room to room…Peggy Sue was nowhere to be seen…everyone from the neighbourhood was having unsupervised fun…balloons were tossed in the air…music from the radio created waves upon waves of body movements…

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the birthday boy’s father had appeared on the scene…turning the music off catching everyone’s attention…he voiced strict and easy to follow instructions…”I want everyone to line up in the hall way…single file and I want everyone to remain silent…following the lead I queued behind the others who stood beside the closed living room door…

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kids still chatted whispering and laughing…not knowing what was about to happen…at first I thought we were queuing up for a goody bag to take home…until the door slowly creaked open…just enough for a hand to grab the first in a long line…swiftly closing the door behind them…

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funhouse

one by one the party goers were ushered into the room…the noise coming from behind the wall was terrifying…curdling screams frightening the life out of me…once or twice I fought the urge to take flight…the louder the screams got the closer I became to losing my nerve…

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seriously every child male or female screamed like they were being tortured for real…the remaining kids still to have their turn began to cry before they were commanded to put the blind fold on…once the screams had stopped the child leaving the room never looked backed running straight out of sight…

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now standing outside the door waiting for my turn…the sense of fear shrouding my mind turned to a blanket of darkness upon hearing the yells coming from the confinements of the closed off room…wanting to run away and hide before the door opened…standing my ground my heart was determined to venture into the unknown at all costs…

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after all every life and soul of the party had already entered the room of doom…I’m not one to be hasty…the living room door swung open allowing the fugitive before me to leave…catching a glimpse of Peggy Sue dressed in a pirates costume was the last thing I saw…

blindfold

fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

a blind fold that was so tight my eyes were popping out of the back of my head…is put to question…CAN YOU SEE…shaking my head…no…she guides me to the centre of the room…talking in a strange accent Peg leg explained what was going to happen…

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apparently she had captured a stowaway…tied and bound to the chair was a hapless victim full of despair…the mean old pirate wanted me to pop the stowaway’s eye out…using all my senses a part from sight I managed to work out the prank…

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upon entering the room the first thing that tingled my nose…freshly cut citrus fruits…using my ears placing my breathing on hold…if it wasn’t for the sound of knitting needles going ten to the dozen you could’ve heard a pin drop…taking hold of both my arms peg leg guided me to face the ultimate test…

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right Natasha hold your finger out straight in front of you…without delay my index finger was ready to play the game…who was in front of me…none other than peg leg’s old mother…I’ve heard these knitting needles before placing my mind at ease…

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knowing fair well no harm will come to me…finger at the ready…little did I know in the palm of her hand she held a prop…grabbing my wrist with her other hand peg leg forced my finger forward…poking the centre of a juicy fruit with brute force…she must of been bending forward to get ready to laugh at my screams…

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fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

the funny thing was…peg leg received a miscalculated squeeze…the juice of the orange managed to miss the eye with the patch…squirting in her one seeing eye…burning like hell she released her grip on me…blind as a bat I started to wobble…losing my balance falling forward nearly taking the O.A.P’s eye out for real…knitting needles can be lethal…

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believe you me the screams coming from inside the room wasn’t from me…why does everything happen to me…its a funny old world my imaginary friend…although I had prepare myself mentally as much as I could…whatever happen inside that room where my comrades screamed blue murder…I was determined to control my fear…not a murmur…as you can see my dear it went far better than I could’ve imagined…I had a great time

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fear became an obsession of mine…the only sense in the world that truly made me feel alive…relief sets in only after you’re conquered the demon within…the weird and wonderful…the warped and wacky were right up my street…

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my familiar surroundings would’ve become a comfort zone…my environment was about to be uprooted…leaving behind sturdy avenue once and for all…a new chapter of my life was about to enter my dream realm…my new address…Mountbatten way…when one door closes another opens

giphy (door-opening0

fear factor…fear factor…fear factor…fear factor

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